Just another drama

I met up with my ex last night.

You know my ever infamous ex.

I received a text from him that he is in Manila, quite vague of what he was leading to. I told him I had a meeting somewhere near him that day and he invited me to have dinner.

It was odd seeing him at first.

My Gawd, he looked fit and indeed I must say that being away from me -- from each other made him look better, and healthier.

When he initially saw me, he held me tight and there were tears in his eyes. While we were walking and talking, he would stop once in awhile and hug me tight -- his eyes swelling. I thought it was "sissy" at first... but then again, I realized it has been almost a month -- our separation was nasty and I guess having shared memories of almost a year together wont just fade away.

He said, I lost a lot of weight. I said thanks... that was my aim -- for before he would always call me fatty. He said that he's not quite sure if it fits me... he missed the bubbly and rosy cheeks I had.

Going back to Makati where we used to spend a lot of time together brought down memories... and it was the same feeling for him. I had never been back to the place much, since I relocated or even if I will, I make it to a point that I wouldnt pass where we used to walk, talk and quarrel... it was just all too painful for me.

We updated and talked about what happened to us the past few weeks... I told him Ive been busy with work and been seeing friends. He asked me if Im still single -- I replied, yes. I mean, its hard to find someone again, who I am comfortable with -- can fully accept how silly, playful and boisterous I am at times.

We spent a lot of time together... until I said... "Can we pretend that its just like the old times? That we are happy? No hassle and all just in the spirit of fun?" For we used to quarrel a lot because we were both jealous most of the time.

I thought I was okay. That was indeed I was feeling that's why I agreed seeing him again. When we parted ways, there I felt the pain... how can something that makes us happy can be so wrong? Or is it because I just miss being with someone and he was there?

I cried. I know things will never work for us no matter what. We have different wants, and different plans.

Im giving myself a week more to get over this feeling. For I know it will never be us, and we will just have to carry on living our lives separately.