Set me free, leave me be...

Nagising akong disoriented na naman sa oras at panahon. Blanko ang isip ko. Ni hindi ko maalala kung ano ang huli kong ginawa. Ilang minuto rin ang lumipas bago ko naalala ang lahat.

Nag-umpisa na naman dumaloy ang luha sa aking mga mata. Ang hapdi na sobra ng mga mata ko. Hindi ko mapigilan ang pag-iyak. Ang sakit sakit sobra. Sabihin man ng lahat na OA na pero wala akong magawa. Kahit ako mismo pakiramdam ko OA na sobra. Pero ayaw pa rin tumigil ang mga matang to sa pagluha. Ilang sandali pa nakaramdam ako ng pananakit ng sikmura. Di pa pala ako kumakain simula kahapon. Naghilamos ako at tinignan ang sarili sa salamin. Mabuti na lang at sanay na ang mga magulang ko sa ganitong itsura ng mga mata ko. Hindi na nila ako uusisain kung bakit namamaga na naman ang mga ito.

Pinilit kong kumain kahit wala akong gana. Halos di ko malunok ang pagkain sa bibig ko. Kung pwede lang na hindi na kumain. Wala talaga akong gana.

Bakit ganito nararamdaman ko? Kahapon kasi ng mag online ako, nagulat ako ako sa nakita ko...offline messages at missed calls galing sa'yo. Sabi mo namimiss mo ako. Parang gripo ang pag agos ng luha sa aking mga mata. Niyakap ko ang akin unan at nahiga. Miss na miss na kita…

Napansin kong nagbblink ang cellphone ko kaya bumangon akong muli para tignan ang cellphone ko. Nung i-check ko, “3 missed calls” galing sayo. Bakit ka tumatawag? Assuming lang ba ako na namimiss mo na akong kausap?
Nag-usap tayo sandali. Inamin ko na rin ang ilang araw ko ng nararamdaman. Masama ang pakiramdam ko. Marami akong gustong sabihin sayo… my heart is bleeding everytime na kailangan kitang i-deny… Bakit ba mahal kita? Bakit ikaw pa?

Bakit kasi hindi puwede? Bakit kung kailan feeling ko na kaya ko na, na makakalimutan din kita, andyan ka na naman...something always brings me back to you.

Gusto ko ako ang nasa tabi mo…. gusto kitang laging nakakausap… gusto kitang makasama… gusto kitang mayakap… gusto kitang alagaan… gusto kitang pagsilbihan… marami akong gustong gawin para sayo… lahat para sayo… gagawing lahat para SA'YO.

Namiss kita sobra… Iisipin ko na lang na katabi kita habang natutulog ng mahimbing. Yayakapin na lang kita kahit sa isip ko lang hanggang sa makatulog na rin ako. Sana kahit malayo ako ay maramdaman mo ang mga yakap ko… Mahal na mahal kita…

You know I always wanna hold you close but it seems too impossible cuz you’re so far from me now… and all I can do is to just keep on imagining and dreaming that someday I can make you mine…. just mine…

Everyone worth knowing

Currently, Im reading this interesting book -- Everyone Worth Knowing --written by the author of The Devil Wears Prada -- Lauren Weis Berger. Out of 1 to 10... I rate this book a 10 although it might not work for some people... but for women who are on their mid twenty's, career oriented and longing to be with their prince charming would certainly enjoy.

It talks about knowing people from all walks of life, how people from different world gets along... how somewhere along the way, that people you had a chance encounter with or people you had not noticed at all in the past, can be so much a part of your life years afterwards be it an a good and not so nice way.

Im a people person myself... I can talk with anyone about anything at any given time. I dont choose people who i talk with... (well given they are not so rude). And I will always be glad to flash the smile for you will never know how can it affect other people's lives...

And as said... "Smile and the world smiles back at you".

My golly, its for free anyway !

Pano kung dalawa sila?

Miss ko na magsulat ng tagalog. Pero itong isusulat ko hindi para sa akin ( defensive agad ) para ito sa kaibigan ko na naguguluhan at humihingi ng payo dahil 'dalawa' daw ang kanyang mahal.

Ewan ko ba, ako ang lapitan ng mga kaibigan, kakilala pagdating sa pagbibigay ng payo. Kamukha ko ba si 'Ate Charo' ? Sabi nya, it seems like I know the right words to say ...shush may ganun? Nambola pa... Anyway, gusto ko syang batukan, di ko lang nagawa dahil nagmamadali ako nung kausap ko sya...

Sabi ko punta na lang sya sa blog ko at dun nya makikita ang makapag - damdaming payo ko sa kanya...( haba ng segway) hahaha!

Oh well, ganito lang yan...

No two things could occupy one space at the same time. Sabi nga sa science text book namin nung grade five.

Ampf, kakahanap ko nitong theory/principle/law na 'to, napadpad pa ko sa... Pauli Exclusion Principle. It states that no two identical fermions may occupy the same quantum state simultaneously. OHA OHA? Behold. Di ko naman gets. hahaha!

Hmmm... plus, you can't serve two masters. Putulin na natin dun sa masters, 'wag nang dugtungan pa ng at the same time. You just can't! Kasi mamaya, may schedules ka pang iimbentuhin.

If you got your heart confused, don't blame love. Blame yourself. I'm sure you got yourself confused with love and infatuation and attraction. Of course, you may feel love for both parties, but the amount of love you give? It's never the same. Alam na alam ko 'to, kakagaling ko lang sa ganitong sitwasyon. Well, the amount of love you get creates more confusion though.

There has to be one who wins the race.

For sure, you got yourself gratified by the idea that there are two great woman by your side, both ready to offer everything. It feels so damn good, you feel like you're the center of the universe. You just won't let go. But you are only one, and you're just not enough for two.

Are you so great? What do you have to offer them both that won't make them need more?
You're not God! Unless you're Agent Smith in the matrix.

So, come on, don't be selfish. Don't be greedy.

Hurting one is enough. Don't hurt them both by giving them both the feeling of anticipation. If you're gonna hurt them both, make sure it's because you shut the door right into their faces. A not so no-man-is-an-island decision to make though.

All you have to do is choose.

Just like when you choose a great meal from the menu. When you choose from ravishingly good desserts. Confusing, but you still end up choosing one for that particular meal. What's so common about choosing, though not all times, is that.. you choose what you want more and what's good for you. Whatever your reasons are for choosing what you ended up wanting, up to you, your life. Though it's advisable that you choose what you want and need and what's good for you. Stand by your decision and don't put yourself in the same state of confusion again, it defeats the purpose of choosing.

So again, choose.

Bumpers

Don't ask me but there are times us, women, do tend to complain too much. Too fat. Boobs too big. I, for one, have this bout of complaining about not finding men whom I am attracted to. Hahaha!

Therefore, I am not an exception to my race. It's a favorite pastime, I guess, especially for us women. We feel like we're this darn primadonna who is God's gift to men and we don't have an ounce of flaw in our body. That we should be perfect! So in the end, we tend to be too harsh on ourselves.

I used to be harsh on myself. That is, until I learned that the world reflects how I see it. Meaning, " Shit happens", "if I give it shit, it gives me back shit"! As simple as that. My moods affect the way I see my world.

The way I see my world, affects the way I am.

So it naturally surprises me when I read something from somebody of the same tribe as I am who starts to criticize her own body. Why do some women is so problematic much about their boobs?

Okay, I dont have big boobs. And I dont have a small one either. I have ample (as I've been told).. and I'm not going to say what my size either (so you guys can all breathe now haha!).
I've never had issue with it people maybe because it's not just plain errrr noticeable? Even if I wear plunging necklines, or low neck tops I've never had issue with men not respecting me. Not that I know of so far.

Men would of course be eternally fascinated with women's boobs because they are flat-chested! It's the eternal longing for something that you don't have. Maybe if men started growing boobs, they would have nothing else to do all day but to fondle them. At least for the first few days until they get used to it.

They don't have boobs but it occupies about 80% of their brains. Look at what they do with their pen*ses! So maybe it's a good thing they don't have bigger boobs, that way they still get most of their work done.

Besides, how can you distinguish the males from the females if everybody has bumps on their chests? Do we start touching even mere acquaintances below their belts? Oopsie! Got bumps, you're male! It's flat! You're female. So, thank God for boobs!

A friend of mine mentioned that when men look at a woman in bikini, it's not just the boobs that make her attractive. It's more of the aura of self-confidence that she exudes. And according to him, that's what they find sexiest in a woman.

Therefore, confidence in a woman is even better than boobs.

Defining 'Space'

Lately, I've been hearing break ups from friends and officemates which is quite unreasonable. Not that I didnt have any previous relationships or whatsoever (Im just currently on seeing friends right now)... the main reason for the break ups is the other party asking for "space"...

WTF is that for??!!

This "space" for me is good as breaking up. Not seeing your partner for weeks or for a month just because of busy work schedule wherein fact you arent oceans apart is just B*llsh*t . It's unfair for the other party to just sit there and wait while waiting for the partner to bounce back from the "space" he has been asking for.

What I'm annoyed about is though, people cling to that kind of relationship. Like it's the bloody end of the world and no one will take them as they are but the truth is they even deserve more!
(See, I have learned from experience )hehehe!

No one deserves to be an option or to be a reserve.

Monday Rain

Last time I was in the rain, I was crying... and now I'm singing!

I'm beginning to learn to trust again... it feels good when you start learning to trust people, no pretentions -- saying what you want to say, be as you are.. and still that person cares for you. I haven't felt this way for quite sometime and it's really nice. For the past few days I don't appreciate love songs, so most of the bit in my Nano is usually upbeat songs and stuff because I try not to be sad about the past. And it's good singing love songs now.. I smile for no reason (I must be getting crazy lol), friends notice that my eyes twinkles, inspite of my lack of sleep... I just feel I'm happier now and more at peace.

Moreover, Im enjoying life as it is... he lets me be. I can talk with people, do other bits, be with friends... it's like there's no pressure at all. But of course, there won't be any expectations as well.

I'm just basically happy now. Trusting other people again, would mean I'm learning to trust myself as well... which is the most of important thing. I didnt expect that I will feel this way after all the dramas... but you know how life is... just like gravity... when you are down there's no other way but to go up.

Or so i thought...

Naughty thoughts

I was listening to the radio on my way to a friend's house few days back. The DJ's, Mo Twister and Mojo Jojo had an interesting discussion.

It touched on the subject of body tattoo as starter. Both of them agreed that it would be exciting to date women with tattoos but would not want their wives to be living art canvasses. Same opinion applied to body piercings. While at it, the topic shifted to men with body piercings down under or what they call intimate piercings. They said the piercings supposedly heighten $exual pleasure.

For the same reason, men surgically insert "bolitas" or pellets ( now, I would look at pellets for toy guns in a different way ) just under the skin along their shafts. The men reportedly experienced an increase in $exual stimulation like having a hand playing with them at the same time they move in and out.

As for the women, they said it resulted to greater $exual satisfaction too. While they were discussing it, the mental image that came to my mind was that of a corn cob with few remaining kernels still attached to it .

Now, I wonder how it would look like in flaccid state, a limp shaft with "kulugo" (big warts)???

X's:

Ganito ba yun?
Now lang ako nakahanap ng picture eh! hahahaha!